Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
I always feel vulnerable when I read about or hear about someone experiencing a tragedy such as the one I wrote about yesterday. Having faced a couple of tough losses myself this past year, I deeply empathize with others who find themselves in similar situations. I know it sounds trite, but those feelings of vulnerability do make me appreciate the people I have left in my life.
I have a little brother. We have had some issues over the years and lost valuable time in our relationship. The loss of my mother brought us back together and we are now trying to build a friendship as adults.
I love my little brother and I want to remain in touch with him. I want to get to know my two nephews and I want to remember that there is no way of telling how much time we have left together. My baby brother turned 50 this week and I am throwing him a surprise party today. I hope he likes it and I hope it helps him to reflect on our relationship in the same way it has me. Happy Birthday Johnny!
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
"Thanks Mom" That was the response I received from my youngest today following a discussion about all of the genetic "quirks" he feels he inherited from me! He likes to blame his clumsiness, forgetfullness, and daily confusion on my genetic contribution to his existence.
I have had similar discussions with my mom over the years. My husband likes to call my blunders "corrylations" (my mom's name was Corry). Isn't he clever? He's probably on to something, but I also like to think that I inherited my creativity, independence, respect for learning, and sense of humor from mom. I'm not sure I ever told her that. It was more fun to tease her about the oddball traits.
Maybe someday my boys will think to credit me with at least a small part of their strength of character. Let's hope they do it sooner though rather than later....with the poor memory genes my mom passed on to me, I may just forget they've done it if they wait too much longer!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
August 12, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
Saturday, August 9, 2008
There are days for celebrating, days for contemplating, days for ruminating, and days for just being lazy! I think they're all great. This is a day for personal reflection on all of my blessings. The greatest blessings being my family and friends. The sun is shining, the temp is in the seventies, and Friday was payday!! Isn't life grand??
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
August 6, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Sunday, August 3, 2008
August 3, 2008
I have insomnia. It started when my mom became ill and I have yet to beat it. In addition to a lack of sleep, mom's illness has lead to a lack of faith on my part. A Catholic my whole life, I found myself struggling with the same questions that plague people going through similar tough times. As a result, I spent last night reading a new book that spoke to my questions about religion and filled the time normally spent staring at the ceiling. The book I read is called The Shack, written by William P. Young. The author takes a very different look at questions of faith, the holy trinity, redemption, and forgiveness. It isn't "preachy" and it doesn't try to sway the reader in one direction or the other (I tend to resist that sort of coercion). It didn't solve my problems, but it did give me lots of things to think about. I would certainly recommend it to those open-minded enough to consider alternate ways of looking at things. The book got me thinking and the insomnia led to my recent artist's block opening up a crack and revealing a couple of new ideas I'm trying this weekend. All in all, a fairly productive night! Though I admit to being super exhausted now!
Friday, August 1, 2008
August 1, 2008
When a loved one is first diagnosed with cancer, your emotions run the gamut from absolute despair to determination filled with hope. You listen for stories of people who have beaten the odds and you convince your self that your loved one will do the same. I wanted my mom to fight. I begged her to go through with the treatments because she was so healthy in every other aspect than with the damn cancer. I convinced mom to have hope. Neither one of us realized just how advanced the disease was and the treatment was a nightmare for mom. I'm left with feelings of guilt for having asked her to suffer through them. Who knows how much longer she may have had if we had left things up to nature rather than relying on hope..........................
Thursday, July 31, 2008
I'm home for the summer. A major perk of my "self-reliant" career is that I get some time off in the summer. It is truly a blessing. I spent last summer watching my mother die of lung cancer caused by second hand smoke. It was definitely the worst time of my life. She was literally buried the day that I returned to work. Straight from the cemetery to my office. It was a tough year to say the least. As a result, I was really looking forward to this time off. My favorite part, sleeping in! After that, working with my art supplies, cooking for my family, watching Ellen, and gardening. I go back next week. For now though, I'm home for the summer!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
My approach to art (unless working on a commisioned piece) includes a total lack of planning. I tend to pile my materials on the kitchen table and see what develops from there. Sometimes I have an idea of where I want to go, but most often that early plan takes a very different turn before the piece is completed. I used to feel bad about that. I envy the "true" artists who talk about the deep meaningful premise on which their pieces have been created.
It's this lacking on my part that causes me to hiccup a little bit when attempting to call myself an artist. My brother says that I express my inner feelings quite clearly through my art. I don't think he realizes that it's a subconscious occurance. I don't even know what it is I'm trying to express until the process is over!
At other times, my creations are simply a fanciful juxtaposition of wonderful old stuff.......
This angel is exactly that. I saw the shrine stacked inside the vintage jello mold on my table and thought, "wow! I like the way that looks!" and things just progressed from there.......
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
As a kid, I always knew I would be an artist someday. I loved anything to do with creativity. My mom, on the other hand, had different ideas. Living in a bad marriage, she wanted to be sure that I had a career which provided independence and security for her daughter. She didn't want me to ever be dependent on a man. So, I became a teacher.
I'm a good teacher and my mother's goals were fulfilled. I'm self-reliant and secure in my career. I still "play" with art, pour over every art magazine I can get my hands on, and have had some success with selling my "stuff". I've even managed to get published!
As everyone who has ever tried knows, combing art with a full-time career can be challenging but well worth the effort. I love what I do, but sometimes I wish that I had had more control over my own life in the beginning...........................