Tuesday, December 30, 2008

hip to be square

I love movies. I like almost all kinds of movies. I admit to skipping movies that are overly violent or that depict violence against women. Other than that, I really enjoy the departure from reality.
My husband and friends rarely agree with me about the quality of a movie. Typically, we will all go to see something, I will laugh, cry and generally respond to every emotional pull built into the movie and as soon as the lights go up, my companions will announce the inadequacies of what we had just seen. I always feel somehow naive or inadequate that I somehow missed how poor the movie was. It got to the point where I began to develop stomach aches near the end of each movie knowing that my opinion would be gently belittled and that I would once again feel silly for having liked it.

Something happened to me this week though. I was sitting through a very long, very wonderful movie with my husband and son when the stomache ache began. Half way through the movie, I sat up straight and thought to myself, "I'm okay with liking this even if no one else does. It's bringing me a sense of peace and I'm keeping it!" When the lights came back on and I had braced myself to be okay with everyone's opinion, my husband said, "That was an awesome movie!" I didn't get to take a stand but I have to admit that it felt good to have him agree with me so heartily! I'm sure another opportunity will present itself, and when it does, I'm ready for it.

Nothing is ever said maliciously or out of meanness, I just exist on a different plane from my more sophisticated friends and husband. It's the same plane that allows me to find enjoyment in playing with paper and paints, become mesmerized by picking gel medium off of my fingers, and to find beauty in old rusted worn out objects.

Movies take me through a journey. I don't have to understand every line, I don't need every scene to make total sense or be grounded in reality, I'm even okay with timelines that are a little skewed. It's similar to my lack of planning when I work on an assemblage piece. Rather than setting out with a logical, predetermined plan, I like to just sit back and enjoy the journey.

1 comment:

Veronica said...

DEAR GOD! When I read your post tears came to my eyes. I felt as though you were writing my story. I feel the same exact way. This truly has me thinking? WOW, how can someone so far away living on this earth have the same exact feelings I do. I would much rather play in my paints as I at times feel I don't quite fit in with what I am suppose to be. HOLY moly ....... hear hear you hit the nail on the head. Fantastic post