Today is my birthday. I'm constantly surprised to have reached such a ripe old age so quickly! It really is true that time moves more quickly as we get older. I can hardly believe that my children are in their twenties and that most of the older generation of my family have passed away. It doesn't seem possible that I am rapidly becoming the older generation!
I feel great, and it's true that I don't quite feel like a grown-up inside yet. Oh, I have the aches and pains of someone my age, but I still seem to be waiting for that moment of clarity when I can say, "hey, I'm an adult now!" I came close when I watched my mother die. That sort of thing feels pretty grown-up.
But, I still wear jeans, I still love ice-cream, I still love to get out paints and glue and make a total mess with my collage materials, I cry at chick flicks, swear more than I should, let my feelings get hurt far too easily, get excited about Star Trek, refuse to wear high heels, and sneak chocolate at every opportunity. None of those things seem very grown-up.
I collect antique photos for my collage work. The folks in those photos always look so serious and stern. Their expressions scream, "I'm an adult and the world sucks!" Maybe what's happened is that our generation has changed the face of maturity. Smiling for a photo is standard and wearing jeans is something we intend to do till the day we die. Free and easy, or a refusal to grow up? Either way, I think I plan to fight old age all the way. After all, it's my birthday and I'll be delusional if I want to!