Poked and Prodded

In the last few months, I have found myself becoming too familiar with our health care system. As stated earlier, all of it was a result of my self neglect. The upside of all of this is that I am trying to take better care of myself. My motivation is two fold. I, naturally, want to live a long life, meet my future granchildren, grow old with my husband, and keep my loved ones from having to deal with an invalid. In addition though, I do not want to deal with the myriad tests, humiliations, pain, and loss of control that spending time in a hospital can bring. Though the health care professionals were all just that, professionals, the feeling of anonymity is unavoidable. I know how hard working doctors, nurses, and lab techs are and I don't suggest they are unfeeling or lacking in compassion. But, I know that even in my field, I have to keep reminding myself that my students are feeling, vulnerable beings and not simply a product of my work place. Ironically, my own son is beginning medical school in the fall. My recent experiences have prompted me to remind him that he will be dealing with human beings and that he should never lose sight of the fear and anxiety we all experieince when undergoing medical procedures. This assemblage was a direct result of my coming home from the hospital feeling very poked and prodded:)..............

Alive and Feeling it Here in Michigan!

Tomorrow I begin a new year. It's my birthday and I am turning 54 years old! The number surprised me as I spent the last year thinking I was 52. When I commented to my husband last week that I couldn't believe I was turning 53 he said, "I hate to tell you this, but you've been 53 for a whole year"! Wow, I guess it wasn't too painful then was it? :) It is true what they say, as I get older, I begin to feel more comfortable in my old skin. I begin to care less about what others think and more about what is important to me. I also, sorry to say, sometimes forget to put all of those filters into place when dealing with others. I remember thinking that mom was so embarrassing when the older she got she began to say exactly what was on her mind to others. Now, I find myself doing the same thing. Life is too short to beat around the bush!

I've had to face some hard truths about myself this past year. I've had to learn to deal with the consequences of my actions when it comes to my health. Years of yo yo dieting have resulted in major health issues. Years of taking our weekly income for granted have resulted in financial difficulties as our state falls into an economic crisis. And, years of trying to bend my son's will to mine have resulted in his inability to move forward with his life without worrying about what I think.

Well, another year older, another year wiser. I monitor my eating very closely (loss of 24 lbs. thus far). I monitor my blood sugar and get extremely regular breast exams. I've learned to appreciate the income we have and am making efforts to get out from under unnecessary debt. And, I've tried very hard to convey to my son how much we love him and how very proud we are of the man he has become. We are thrilled to see him tackle a path that works for him and makes him happy in the process. We love his girlfriend and hope to welcome her to our family someday.

It's not all perfect, I have lots of growing and changing to do. But today, on the eve of my new birthday, I feel good. And that's what it's all about right? One day at a time...........